"Tongue-Tied" fade in: ext. park - close on birds on a tree banch - day A is heard OS, frightening the birds, who scatter and fly OS. The continues, joined by more overlapping as we PUSH THROUGH the trees and view the park grounds. Several BOYS and GIRLS are visible on the grass, kicking individual small orange and blue bean bags from foot to foot. They are all wearing large puffy white hi-top sneakers with a round orange and blue logo on the ankles. PAN PAST the group of children to an OLD MAN with a walker. He, too, is kicking the small bean bag from foot to foot. CONTINUE PAN TO INCLUDE EXT. ACME LABS PUSH IN as we hear from inside: int. acme labs - continuous PUSH PAST several LAB TECHNICIANS at their respective stations, kicking the bean bags and wearing the sneakers as they go about their business. angle on BRAIN - THROUGH CAGE BRAIN is scribbling notes on a blackboard with a piece of chalk, back TO CAMERA. brain The recalibration of the infindibulum capacitor is dependent on - HNNH! Brain cringes at the . closer on brain He looks OS with disgust and continues his work. brain (CONT) The, uh, the ratio of the formula of H2O plus the square root of the - MORE . The chalk against the blackboard. Brain whirls and glares through the bars of the cage, holding his head. brain (CONT) That thumping! It's incessant! wide on lab TWO LAB ASSISTANTS are kicking a bean bag back and forth between them under a sign that reads "PRODUCT TESTING DIVISION." One of them kicks the sack way over the head of the other. on brain He turns away in disgust. brain (CONT) Bah! What sort of idiot could waste away his life on such utter mindlessness? The bean bag flies INTO SCENE, hitting Brain and throwing him against the blackboard. brain (CONT) OOF! Brain slides down the blackboard on his face, erasing his hours of work. Next to him, the bean bag opens and out pops PINKY's head. pinky It's loads of fun, Brain. But just a trifle painful. on brain He shrugs and gets to his feet. brain Ask a stupid question... on pinky He climbs out of the bean bag. pinky Narf! All right, Brain. Um, why do they call it lunch? widen to include brain He stops, thinking for a beat: he realizes he does not, in fact, have a clue. He looks at Pinky, deadpan. brain I have no idea, Pinky, except that you are out to it! Brain pushes past Pinky and begins scribbling on a scrap of paper with a pencil. brain (CONT) Now go away before I am forced to add the weight of an eraser to your head. wider Brain lifts the pencil as if to hit Pinky, then stops, struck by a sudden bolt of inspiration. brain (CONT) Wait! That's it! closer on brain He begins to scribble madly on the paper. brain (CONT) The weight of an eraser subtracted from the - The begins again, getting louder and louder. Brain stops, looks up, steamed. brain (clenched teeth) They're doing it again. announcer (VO) Yes! They're doing it in Lapland! Brain turns an REACTS as we ZIP PAN to Pinky, sitting before the TV (which is right beside the cage, of course). On the tube, we see two happy LAPLANDERS wearing those puffy sneakers and kicking a bean bag back and forth between them. closer on tv The scene switches to Carnival in Rio as samba-dancing revelers with fruit piled high on their heads, and wearing the tell-tale sneakers, are also kicking the bean bag back and forth. announcer (CONT) (VO) They're doing it in Brazil! They're even doing it in Washington D.C. Switch to the lawn in front of the White House as Bill and Hillary Clinton kick the bean bag back and forth. Hillary kicks the bean bag TO CAMERA and the KICKY SACK LOGO FILLS THE FRAME ANNOUNCER (CONT) (VO) Kicky Sack! Everyone's doing it! Kicky Sack! The sensation that kicks fun into high gear. A SERIES OF QUICK SCENES of KIDS kicking their Kicky Sacks appears on the screen followed by a scene of several hands PUMPING up the sneakers. announcer (CONT) (VO) Just pump up your official Kicky Sack Sack Kickers and kick off! WIDE SHOT of EVERYONE kicking their Kicky Sacks TO CAMERA. kids It's a kick! Over the superimposed logo: announcer Kicky-sack, from Socko! Kicky Sack Sack Kickers sold separately. wide on cage Pinky turns to Brain, gleefully. pinky It's my favorite commercial. I like it even better than that commercial where they have all those bland people with big strange hair. closer on pinky and brain Brain turns to a contraption made of wire and tin foil in disgust. brain I've told you before, Pinky, that isn't a commercial - It's cable news! pinky Narf! Imagine my chagrin! Pinky reaches toward the contraption. brain Don't touch that, Pinky! wider Brain pushes Pinky aside and stands beside his invention. He points to a chart on the blackboard on which we see childish drawings of the earth, rain clouds, etc. as he describes the process: brain (CONT) This is an Axis Shift-a-tron, a device that will alter the earth's axis by one millionth of a percent, causing a shift in weather patterns, resulting in one day less rain everywhere in the world - except for Los Angeles - negatively affecting the coffee bean crops. This will cause a radical shift to tea-drinking. on pinkY He looks confused. pinky And... wider to include brain He looks annoyed. brain What do you mean - "and??" pinky Um, "but" and "if" seemed inappropriate. Brain points to a flashlight in a tin foil cone with wires extending from it. brain (SIGHS)AND... this ray will destroy every tea bag in the world! Except mine! Brain pulls a tea bag INTO SCENE. brain (CONT) As the owner of the world's only tea bag, I will rise to prominence! on pinky He leaps around excitedly (then stops by the chalk drawing of the earth on "Um, no...") pinky That's brilliant, Brain! And it's so simple! Um, no, wait... isn't the earth really really heavy? I think I read that somewhere. favoring brain He swells up to answer Pinky, then stops, deflating, his head in his hands. brain As unlikely as that seems, you are correct, Pinky. The only way my plan can be successful is for the earth to suddenly lose weight. wider pinky Poit! What if everyone on the earth went on a diet. brain Diets don't work! pinky Even if you call them " a whole new way of eating?" on brain - lab in BG As Brain speaks, in the far BG, we see the Lab Technicians, up the Sack Kickers. brain No! You might as well ask everyone on Earth to pump helium into their shoes and suspend themselves in mid-air long enough for me to implement the Axis Shift- a-tron. Brain stops, turns. He reacts at the sight of the human lab technicians pumping up their shoes. brain Pump helium.... that's it! Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? angle on pinky and brain Pinky shakes his head sadly. pinky I think so, Brain, but she'll never leave Mickey. brain I thought we agreed never to discuss that! And we have far more pressing matters. ON BRAIN Brain paces feverishly. brain We will sneak into the Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker Factory and alter their assembly line so that the pumping of air into the Kicky Sack Sack Kickers will combine with a helium element, causing millions of catotonic Kicky Sack Sack Kickers to rise into the air... and then... wider to include pinky He is sitting on the rim of a tea cup, holding the tea bag. He drops it in. pinky Tea time! AAAAAH! The string from the bag wraps around his foot and he is dragged into the cup with a . close on brain He takes TO CAMERA as he is drenched in tea. dissolve to: ext. hackensack socko kicky sack sack kicker factory -day A SIGN displays the above-mentioned information. PULL BACK to reveal Pinky and Brain as: brain I must study the operation of the Kicky Sack Sack Kicker Factory in detail, Pinky. They climb through the chain link fence during: pinky But, Brain, how will we, two small mice, convince the huge owner to let us inspect his enormous factory? brain We will disguise ourselves as the only thing guaranteed to gain the respect of any American businessman - Japanese industrialists seeking to buy the company. wipe to: int. factory office hallway - moments later Brain pulls Pinky aside as they approach the MANAGER, who is exiting his office door. brain Now, remember, I am Mister Kawasaki and you are Mister Hiasaka. WIDE The Manager beams at them. mister sacket Welcome to the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker factory. I'm Kirk Sacket, the manager. Can I help you? brain Yes, we are two Japanese industrialists seeking to buy this company. I am Mister Kawasaki pinky And I am Mister, uh, Sourkaki! closer on brain and pinky Brain TAKES, then talks out of the side of his mouth to Pinky. brain Sourkaki?? Isn't it Mister Hiasaka? Pinky turns and looks pinky Where? Poit! Must have missed him. Brain shoots an Oliver Hardy-ish look TO CAMERA. wide on hallway Sacket leads them through a door onto the factory floor. sacket I am honored by your visit. Let me show you our assembly line... wipe to: int. factory - on assembly line PAN OVER the enormous assembly line, stopping at a station where FIVE SHEET SLITTERS are taking huge sheets of material, feeding them through a MANGLER WITH RAZOR SHARP TEETH, slitting them and passing them down the line. sacket First sheets of sheer synthetic sheepskins are slit into several shapes and sizes by six sitting sheet slitters. closer on sheet slitters As Brain counts them, taking notes on a pad with a huge pencil. brain Six sitting sheet slitters? sacket The sixth sitting sheet slitter's sick. on pinky and sheet slitter pinky You're not the sheet slitter? sheet slitter's son No, I'm the sheet slitter's son. wider Brain pulls Pinky after him as Sacket leads the way. brain Well, keep on slitting sheets until the sheet slitter comes. angle on sock plucker The SOCK PLUCKER is operating a MECHANICAL CLAW, plucking socks from a treadmill and plopping them into the finished sneakers. Sacket ENTERS with Pinky and Brain. sacket This is Mister Plunkett, the new Sock Plucker. I had to fire our previous sock plucker. (aside) He had a bit of an attitude. brain So you sacked the cocky sock plucker? sacket The second sock plucker I sacked since the sixth sick sitting sheet slitter's sick Suddenly, there is an ELECTRIC SHORT. The LIGHTS FLICKER and the assembly line stops. on sacket et al Sacket shrugs it off. sacket Don't worry. Just an electrical problem. One of the sack pickers will have to flick the plug. pinky Not the sock pluckers? pan to sack pickers who are picking Kicky Sacks from the assembly line with SHARP STEEL NEEDLES and packaging them with the sneakers. FOCUS IN on the rubber guards on the treadmill and beyond, where an ELECTRIC PLUG is plugged into a WALL SOCKET. sacket My, no. The sack pickers flick the plugs. The sock pluckers can't reach the sockets over the latex child perambulator fenders we use to line the treadmill. on brain and sheet slitter's son Brain gestures toward the Sheet Slitter's son. brain It might make more sense to have the sixth sick sitting sheet slitter' son flick the plug if the sack pickers and the sock pluckers are behind the rubber baby buggy bumpers. wide The Sheet Slitter's son reaches over and flicks the plug. The FLICKERING STOPS and the assembly line POWERS UP. sacket I never thought of that... brain Of course you didn't. Sacket leads Brain OS. A Sock Plucker and a Sack Picker ENTER SHOT, looking after them, impressed. sock plucker That is one smart fellow. He felt smart. Pinky bounces past them on top of a Kicky Sack. sock plucker (CONT) Two smart fellows! They felt smart! angle on shelf right above the treadmill, on which we see a TOY SAIL BOAT. brain (VO) And what, pray tell, is this? PULL BACK as Sacket removes the boat from the shelf and shows it to Brain. sackett Oh, this is the toy boat I won in the sack race at the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker Factory Picnic in Secaucus. on brain He stops, thinking, then scribbles in earnest. on air pump section As sneakers proceed past the station on the line, they are full of air by huge PURPLE PUMPS. sacket And, finally, the Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kickers are inflated up by our genuine Parker-Packard Pewter Pressure Pump. Pinky bounces INTO SCENE. pinky (CONT) Look, Brain. I, er, mean Mister Sourkaki, it's purple! closer on brain and pinky brain I'm Kawasaki, Pinky. You're Sourkaki! pinky (sulking) I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about a person. Brain is about to hit Pinky with his pencil, but thinks better of it. brain (whispers) I've seen all I need to see of the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker factory, Pinky. We must take our leave and sneak back under cover of nightfall. Pinky and Brain turn and begin to leave, but into a rock hard object. pinky/brain OOOF! PAN UP to reveal that this is the leg of an ugly Neanderthal woman in a security uniform. She glowers down at them. Sacket ENTERS FRAME. sacket I see you've met the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker Factory Security Specialist, Peggy Babcock. No one gets past her. (friendly laugh) on brain He is thinking: brain Peggy Babcock... Peggy Babcock... Peggy Babcock... Where have I heard that name before? wider Babcock scoops up Pinky and Brain in her hammy fist and holds them at face level, growling. pinky Monday Night Wrestling! You look much better in that mask, you know. dissolve to: ext. acme labs - night PUSH IN: brain (VO) This is it, Pinky! int. acme labs - in cage - close on brain He is holding up a single PEA. WIDEN as Pinky LEANS IN, examining it. pinky Supper, Brain? brain No, Pinky, this pea contains a single helium element. Brain crosses to a complicated schematic of this night's plan scribbled on the blackboard. brain (CONT) Once this pea is added to the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker factory assembly line, every Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kicker will fill with helium the first time it is inflated. Brain pulls out a toothpick and uses it as a pointer, it on the blackboard. brain Now, Pinky, here is the plan of operation. Remember, every step must be performed with precision on my command. close on blackboard Brain's pointer indicates each step of the plan. (NOTE: THE PLAN ACTUALLY CALLS FOR A SHEET OF LEATHER TO BE ATTACHED TO THE TOY BOAT, STRETCHED OUT, AND THEN USED AS A SLING SHOT TO PROPEL THE SOCK, FILLED WITH A BEANBAG AND THE PEA TOWARD THE RUBBER GUARD FROM WHICH IT WILL CAROM INTO THE PUMP. THE PLUG WILL BE FLICKED TO HALT THE TREADMILL.) brain Slit the sixth sick sheet slitter's son's sheet, secure it to the toy boat from the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kickers Picnic in Secaucus, speed it past the sock plucker and the sack picker and pick a sack, pluck a sock and flick the plug while I put the pea in the plucked sock with the picked sack for ballast and bounce it off the rubber baby buggy bumper into the Parker- Packard Purple Pewter Pressure Pump. wider Brain turns and glares at Pinky. brain (CONT) Is that understood? pinky I understood "Now" and "Pinky." wipe to: ext. factory - night PUSH IN on a slit in a window as: pinky (singing) Tra la la... brain (VO) Pinky! Quiet! int. factory - continuous Pinky is carrying the pea as Brain climbs up an electric wire to the CONTROL BOX and presses a button, starting up the assembly line. brain (CONT) I must be fooling myself. This will never work. on pinky Pinky leans on the pea as Brain drops down INTO SCENE. pinky Why not, Brain? All I have to do is slit the sixth sick sheet slitter's son's sheet and secure it to the toy boat from the Hackensack Socko Kicky Sack Sack Kickers Picnic in Secaucus, speed it past the sock plucker and the sack picker and pick a sack, pluck a sock and flick the plug. brain (stunned) Uh, yes, Pinky. That was perfect! pinky (brightly) Poit! Yes, except I have no idea what it means. brain (SIGHS) Then just listen to me. I will shout out each step! Brain starts to walk ahead of Pinky. pinky All right, Brain. And I'll watch out for Peggy Babcock! Brain Peggy Babcock? pinky Peggy Babcock!? Where? Pinky whirls, looking for the guard, and accidentally Brain with the pea. Brain flies OS. brain AAAAH! OOF! on brain He is against the wall, a huge lump on his head. He looks up, dazed. brain Now, Pinky. Shlit the seat! wide Brain wobbles up to the confused Pinky. pinky Which seat? brain The shick sleek sitter's shleet! pinky Beg pardon? brain I'll do it! Brain grabs the pea away and climbs up to the rolling treadmill. on mangler Brain glides past on the treadmill, taking up an unslit sheet. Suddenly, he is pulled backward toward the mangler. He turns and sees his predicament, panicking and dropping the pea OS. brain Toy boat! Too boot! Toe boyt! on pinky leaning on the boat. pinky Narf! What's a boyt and why would I want to tow it? on brain He is pulled into the mangler. brain YEEEEOOOOW! Brain runs in and out of the teeth of the mangler, narrowly avoiding being slit himself. brain (CONT) Plick the flug! Er, flig the pluck! on PINKY as he skips over to the Sack Picker. pinky I wonder what he means by that... OTS BRAIN - on treadmill He is now being sped toward the gleaming sharp needle of the sack picker, suspended over the treadmill. He holds onto one Kicky sack as it is "picked" and rises off the treadmill. brain Plinky!! Pluck the flig! another angle on brain as he is forced into a sock with a Kicky Sack. brain (muffled) OW! OOF! OW! WIDEN OUT TO INCLUDE PINKY looking up in confusion as the sock with Brain in it is heading directly under the claw of the dreaded Sock Plucker. pinky Are you all right in there, Brain? How is your plan thingy going? Brain manages to poke his head out of the sock as he goes by Pinky, standing next to the Sock Plucker Controls. brain Don't pug the slack, er, plig the slick... flug the plock! pinky I wasn't going to do any of those things, Brain. I was going to pluck the sock, though. Pinky presses a button. on brain The huge claw "plucks" him from the treadmill and drops him on a slide. brain NOOOOOOO! OOOF! on brain His eyes open wide in horror. brain (CONT) Not the rugger booby biggy boopers! NOOOOO! wide on slide Brain down the slide from one side to the other. brain (CONT) OW! OOF! OWWW! OUCH! On pump Brain, on his back, stops under the nozzle of a pump. brain Oh no. The nozzle inflates him like a balloon. He rises off the assembly line for a moment, then he loop-the-loops through the air, into the glowering face of Peggy Babcock. He slides down and OS. on pinky Brain falls INTO SCENE and, totally frazzled, points OS. brain Pebby Bagpop! pinky Poit! Is that Gaelic or something? brain Piggy Bigbop! pinky I know. It's some sort greeting. Piggy Bigpop to you, too. wide Peggy Babcock picks them up in one hand and smiles evilly. brain/pinky GULP! ext. factory - continuous Pinky and Brain come crashing through the window and land with a on the pavement outside. pinky Oh, look, Brain, you lost your pea. brain Never mind about that, Pinky. wide as they drag themselves down the street. brain (CONT) We must get back to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night. pinky What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain? Sell sea shells at the sea shore? brain No, Pinky, what we do every night - try to wake over the turld! END THEME. FADE OUT THE END